I hardly slept that night, laid awake in my untouched crispy white sheets
the sun kissed our face to say good morning.
A sister slept beside me, who I discovered the night before
was no longer my sister, but my best friend.
We smiled with joy in our face, because today was a good day.
I sat and gazed out my window, I stared at the beautiful waterfall
I dreamed about all the memories we would share in this very place,
for what I thought would be years to come.
It felt like a gift, perfectly made for me.
The day began, hustling and bustling, every one all around me stirring,
just like the cold December Breeze.
It blew my perfectly curled hair all around,
and the delicate veil that framed my face brushed lightly against my shoulder.
I felt, like a queen, because today was a good day.
The garden germinated loved ones like fresh flowers on the first day of spring
Overwhelmed by faces of people it had been so long since I had seen.
Everyone smiling, and hugging and wishing happy blessings.
I was surrounded by an array of perfection.
More beautiful than I could ever imagine.
When little girls secretly whisper their fantasies of this day,
the reality had all my dreams beat.
I laughed, I beamed, I soaked in every moment,
because today was a good day.
We savored each bite on our special little table for two,
We danced our silly little dances,
The world watched us share a secrete only we knew.
With that there were tearful goodbyes,
and then we were off to all the beautiful lights.
Time froze, as we walked down the street painted with holiday delight,
Tonight he was a king, with his queen, hand and hand,
because today was a good day.
Although good days don't always stay that way.
On that good day, the skies turned to grey and that good day changed.
Life doesn't always play us the game we thought we would play.
Sometimes there is no way we are ever able to prepare
for the other puzzle that unfolds.
Sometimes we think we have so much under control.
Sometimes we think we are on top of the world.
When really, life tracks us down, figures us out, and stomps us to the ground.
Down to the very last piece of who we thought we were.
And we fall apart, with all of our polished pride, our pretty white dresses,
our mile wide and 20 deep theologies and philosophies...
and big fat study Bibles.
One day we wake up, and realize we really are nothing.
Dust.
A day I thought would last 60 years ended on day 531.
A day I thought would last 60 years ended on day 531.
five-hundred and thirty one.
Darkness and obliteration haunted me.
Left with awkward silence and "friends" who claimed it couldn't be the "same".
Some too afraid to inquire,
politely walk by with stiff smiles and distant whispers.
Others with a dissertation of marital perfection prepared,
Insistently presenting.
Others just walk away, in dismay at the scarlet letter they claim, now shapes.
me, britany, can no longer be. free.
But then there were those, who continued.
They preserved through the confusion, the rebellion, and depression.
They persevered with love.
Who's hope is on the Glory set before us, above, and around. Love.
knowing though we are tragically broken, from dust, He creates...
no matter how much we destroy
and this persisting truth saved me.
While all my childlike visions forecasted beautifully good days
from that moment on
reality? I've had a lot of ugly days since that day.
Days ugly enough to delete permanently from the calendar.
Darkness and obliteration haunted me.
Left with awkward silence and "friends" who claimed it couldn't be the "same".
Some too afraid to inquire,
politely walk by with stiff smiles and distant whispers.
Others with a dissertation of marital perfection prepared,
Insistently presenting.
Others just walk away, in dismay at the scarlet letter they claim, now shapes.
me, britany, can no longer be. free.
But then there were those, who continued.
They preserved through the confusion, the rebellion, and depression.
They persevered with love.
Who's hope is on the Glory set before us, above, and around. Love.
knowing though we are tragically broken, from dust, He creates...
something beautiful
And He continues, and continues to create, over and over againno matter how much we destroy
and this persisting truth saved me.
While all my childlike visions forecasted beautifully good days
from that moment on
reality? I've had a lot of ugly days since that day.
Days ugly enough to delete permanently from the calendar.
a lot of days, I didn't want a tomorrow.
But today, on 12.16.10, I can look back and remember that day
I can finally look at that day, and say, it was a good day
And not all good days stay that way
But there something so much better about today,
because I can say, it's a new day, that He has made.
"yesterday is gone, and today is waiting for you to show your face,
But today, on 12.16.10, I can look back and remember that day
I can finally look at that day, and say, it was a good day
And not all good days stay that way
But there something so much better about today,
because I can say, it's a new day, that He has made.
"yesterday is gone, and today is waiting for you to show your face,
And it might not be, the prettiest thing that you've ever seen
but it's a new day, oh baby it's a new day.
And it might not look like a beautiful sunrise,
but it's a new day, oh baby it's a new day."
-Robbie Seay Band
but it's a new day, oh baby it's a new day.
And it might not look like a beautiful sunrise,
but it's a new day, oh baby it's a new day."
-Robbie Seay Band
2 comments:
My heart aches as i read this..but so thankful that we serve a God who redeems & restores. Praying for you...your honesty is beautiful. Praying for His peace to guard your heart and mind as you daily place your trust in Him.
Welcome back Britany. It is sad to walk through these kind of days but we know that God is faithful. I just love the fact that you are writing again. You are loved very much. Go forward and keep your eyes on the "Son"
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