to be found in Him...

I feel like I am constantly running. constantly chasing.
Searching for something. something to ease my pain.
As soon as I'm convinced the pain has gone away,
I discover I've only merely perfected the art of concocting numbing medicine.
Although in the midst of a cold dark night,
Or the aftermath of an intoxicated frenzy,
Once again the pain slips a slithering hiss into the conversation of my life.

It screams out the secret I try so hard to hide.

I am still lonely.
I am still insecure.
I am still discontent.
I am still self-absorbed.
I am still... flawed.

This pain of mine so willingly finds an evil saab for me to loose myself in
So over and over, I'm lost again, while all along I'm just wanting to be found

Waiting to be found in Him, and captivated by His zealous ceremony.

Suffocate all the anxiety that consumes me.
I'm longing for all the snakes inside of me to finally be set free.
The bottled poison of deception to once and for all be emptied.
When only words of life pour out, and love always puts up a fight.
Cleanse me of this dark night, and this stranger inside me I spite.